Winter—After years of living with our human servant … err … companion (must remember our new social sensitivity training) in solitude, she has acquired a new male companion. He seems basically acceptable at this point. His first installation was a magnificent multi-level cardboard and shelving pieces of art. It contained a new variety of hiding spaces and cozy sleeping nooks. He also seems to be amendable to filling our food dishes when ever they seem to be empty.
Although he does need further feline domestic living training, he has an unacceptable habit of scaring the catnip out of me during the nighttime hours by petting or scratching me while I am lurking in the dark or sleeping on the uppermost perches without any difficulty. I have tried fluffing my fur at him and even lowered myself to hissing once. He has a strange immunity to my laser like glare. I have tried to explain this to the female human, but after years of linguistic lessons, she still does not understand basic Meow. I am currently using a suggestion from Feline to Human Social Sensitivity Training Manual and implementing the following tacks:
- Vocal demands for attention with obstacles between the two of us.
- Actively ignoring him by walking into a room, eyeballing him, and then displaying my tail in his general direction.
- Sleep on or play with his pet “mouse”. (Although why they call that plastic thing with an impossibly long tail a mouse, I have no idea. According to our data, a mouse is small furry creature meant to be chased and consumed with a vicious delight.)
At this point he seems more amused than anything. His training will continue. Hopefully we can bring things up to an acceptable level.
Note to Research and Development: Can you please provide samples of catnip to us? We are starting to believe that this substance is completely a myth.
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